I remember when I first cried
My mommy held me
And she looked into my eye
I remember when I first smiled
And they all go wild
I guess because I’m the first child
I remember when I first sit
I gaze around and around
But couldn’t find myself a stick
I remember when I first crawled
I learn how to explore
Using my chunky vision on things I saw
I remember when I first walked
It’s even better listening to them talk
They said things I don’t understand
But I just smiled and laugh back
I remember when I first went to school
I cried on the first day
And that wasn’t cool
I remember when I first graduated elementary
Saying good-bye to friends
Getting ready, for a new chapter to my story
I remember when I first fell in love
I called her
My angel from above
I remember when I first kissed
It looks nothing like in the movie
But I like to lay back and reminisce
I remember when I first turn eighteen
I looked back at my baby pictures
And daydreams of what I remember
2 comments:
First, I must congratulate you on the rhymes throughout the whole poem.
Second, I really like how the word choice you use matures as the poem goes along and the person grows up.
And lastly, overall nice work.
It seems like there's a few rough bits of English here. "And she looked into my eyes" maybe or "I remember when I first turned eighteen" or "And daydream of what I remember". These don't detract for me though (because it's like you'd talk!) and should be simple enough to correct.
Did Blogger mess up your stanzas or do you really not have them? Because I think you should. There's definitely good places for them.
I like the idea, reminiscing over an old photo album. It's done well. Good job. And kudos for rhyming.
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